Dose of the blues

It's been a bit of a crappy week all in all. I have been, for some reason known only to the gods and my hormones, terribly tearful all week. The problem with feeling this way, is that you spend so much time trying to figure it out. What is dragging me down, what is making me feel so low? Is it the weather, am I eating badly, sleeping enough, am I stressed about something I haven't even picked up on yet, am I just a truly awful person who sees no joy in life and should in fact save everyone else the hassle of putting up with me and just become a hermit, WHY AM I SO MELODRAMATIC? *has tea, calms down*

The other real bummer, you know aside from the fact I'm a miserable cow, is that the good parts of the week are all screwy because of the overwhelming sense of doom and failure. I had a really good evening Wednesday, saw my parents and came away feeling pretty darn cheery. Then I had a sit down. The grey mist of, down in the dumps, crept back in, or more likely the serotonin boost wore off and boom I was low again. So low and tired in fact that I could barely even be bothered to move. Great, I had gone from mildly grumpy to world endingly depressed simply through the process of comparison.

It has got to the stage now where I am not just feeling sad, but that sadness is starting to affect my logical thinking. Awesome. So I am rather hoping that whatever is causing this little bout of the blues will kindly scram, soon.

What will be interesting is to see whether this is a hormonal thing, whether about a week and a half after the faeries next visit, I get a dose of the deep, down, dirty blues.If not then I am putting this episode down to the fact that our current weather system has decided that freezing and wet is the way forward, have a hot chocolate and cheer the heck up.

Chocolate

I know, I know, chocolate, it's a clique right. It does make me feel better though. I have, (yes have) to have chocolate everyday. Some days a small square of dark chocolate will do the trick, most days actually, other days an entire family pack of minstrels will barely be considered a start. This time of year my craving for chocolate is particularly strong. Hardly surprising though, the days are getting shorter, the weather is getting colder and for all of us, our bodies are going "seriously dude what is going on?” We need more sleep, more food, more of the stuff that will get us through the cold, dark nights ahead. So whilst I am fully aware that all that refined sugar isn't necessarily the best thing for my physical well being, it does fulfil a certain need and it does boost my mental well being.

Chocolate is also really helpful during certain points of your menstrual cycle. Chocolate is an obvious quick fix for low blood sugar, something which can occur when the faeries are visiting. As we all know the faeries can severely affect your mood, chocolate is great at boosting serotonin levels. Lastly chocolate is a source of magnesium, something that you can become low in during your cycle. So whilst it might not be the best individually for these three potential issues, if it covers a number of bases in one go, it's hardly surprising it’s something we crave.

Part of the reason I am engaging in this process is to become more aware of the relationship between my physical and emotional states. I firmly believe that we'd all be better off for reflecting on what we are feeling and what it means, a bit more often. I have also just provided myself with one more awesome reason for having a 200g "sharing" bar of Dairy Milk for dinner.

When the faeries are away

So seriously I hear you cry, well there are approximately two of you out there, so maybe it is more of a murmur. However many it is, I think the subject of the blog begs the question, what are we going to talk about for the other 26 days of the month then blog lady?

It is a fair question, it is also sort of the point. Some people out there are writing about this subject trying to demystify it by talking about those few days when it is all action. That is one way to go about discussing a difficult subject. For me though it is more about reconnecting with the whole process and making it a bit more accessible to all, and I do mean all, women, men and everyone in between. Now don't get me wrong, it is not an easy subject. I'll be honest I am struggling a bit with the right language, but figuring it out as I go along (with your help) is part of the process. There are both physical and mental aspects of the female monthly cycle which I think we all too often ignore as much as possible, but in doing so we put ourselves at a disadvantage. Actually if we open up, think and talk about it a bit more, maybe well all find the whole process a bit easier.

What are we going to talk about? How we are feeling, what we are thinking and as we go along, how it all links up. So here I am, shark week is over and the faeries are in hibernation mode. I feel good today. Really good, my body feels good and I'm happy, calm and feeling good. How about you?

The Faerie Report

So in case you haven't guess Jam Faerie is a euphemism. Lets get it all out there, we are talking menstruation here. Why the euphemism of Jam Faeries? I am honestly not entirely sure, but it was influenced by a Goth, some toast, facing south by south west and doing a curtsey. Get me drunk enough I might remember the rest.

I know, I know the next question, why write a blog about that. Well here is the thing, it seems like everyone is writing about their menstrual cycle or maybe I just have a weird twitter feed and blog roll. It does feel like there is a trend at the moment, riding on the wave of the resurgence of the feminist movement. Periods are everywhere, period.

So am I jumping on the bandwagon? No exactly. I am not writing about the detailed comings and goings of something which lets face it is fairly intimate. To those that can and do, I respect their right to do so and part of me applauds them, but it is just not me. I'll be honest I find some of the more intimate details a tad disturbing. You must be really bored if you take the time to measure your flow, and as for how one know ones cervix has "dropped", the mind boggles.

What I do know is that it is something most women go through, it certainly has its ups and downs and if you want people to relate, men and women, you need to talk about it in terms everyone can understand.

So in a fit of madness I set up a twitter account @JamFaeries, now there is a blog and more of my life than just the usual five days a month seems to be about my cycle. Like I say though, don't be afraid, I am here to talk about the other side, the day to day side, find things we can al relate to and laugh about. I want to demystify this process for myself and hopeful for other, not write a horror script Wes Craven would baulk at.

The Jam Faerie is with us every day, not just during Shark Week (if you don't like my euphemisms please let me know yours, I probably won't use them, but you never know). It's the hormonal highs and lows, the days you feel awesome as well as the days you feel like a microwaved Twinkie, it's the cramps and the "hell yeah I can take on the world". It's all those things and its a hell of a ride.